electronic crack

:]

Fri, 22 Aug 2008 22:31:08 GMT

kyle gets here at 2:00pm tomorrow:D

so along with going to see WALL.E for the 2nd time over the weekend....

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 10:38:26 GMT

i got kyle's plane ticket!!!!
he'll be here at 2:00pm on the 23rd. which is this saturday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
its taking every ounce of self control that i have [not much] not to show the world how retardedly happy i am right now.
and with every day that goes by, every minute that takes me closer, its only gonna get worse!!!
:] this is great. its been a while since i felt this good.
im so ready for him to move in.

i bought an economy sized box of condoms yesterday. LOL.

ahahahaha:D

????????????????????!!

Mon, 11 Aug 2008 11:00:35 GMT

i just realized that i can have kyle up here by this weekend if i wanted to.
but thats selfish...
he needs to finish his tests without me distracting him.
but i want him here nowwww.... im so impatien t:P
whats a girl to do?

pffft...today

Sat, 09 Aug 2008 19:00:16 GMT

i am covered in green paint.
where is mike at?
im so tired.
why are furniture delivery people so stupid....where the fuck is my bed at?
i dont wanna walk to the bowling alley now...
i want my car back.
like 15 more days till kyle is here for forever.
yay for that.

look a submarine.....

*sigh*

this morning my cat sneezed all over me. thats how i woke up.

Mon, 04 Aug 2008 09:57:26 GMT

i didnt know that a gallon of boogers could come out of a kitten.
-_-'

im so friggin tired all the time its a wonder that im still alive. can you die from sleep deprivation?

i miss kyle so much too. i can hardly talk to him due to the fact that the phone is broken so he cant even call.

im so nervous about the rent ....john left for the weekend but didnt leave money....i hope he gets back today. me and mike have our parts we just need his before tommorrow or its late.

i need to go get a bed after work this morning...

i randomly missed josh and eric this morning. mostly josh. i understand why eric doesnt wanna be my friend anymore...i mean i ignored his calls for a month and then didnt call back when i said i would, my fault entirely.
but josh kinda just dropped me on my ass. as soon as amy comes into the picture he stops calling/texting/emailing... i think its cuz shes jealous that im his ex gf or something and wont let him talk to me.
its not like i want him back[ why would i, i have the best BF ever!!! ] its just that i miss talking to him as a friend. he always had this amazing way of talking to me that just made everything seem ok. and when i moved to VA he said that he would visit me now that i lived closer...nothing.
and he said i was invited to the wedding...psh, like amy would let that happen.
i just hope he's happy. thats all i ever wanted for him.

i miss you josh.
alot.

Sat, 02 Aug 2008 16:21:33 GMT

i cant help but wonder what would happen in this scenario:

i continue to not speak to my father. i hold off on it for another, um, 3 or 4 years.
then i just show up at the house
with hair like this

more piercings[other than my septum]

married

and with one of these

lol :]

i'll record it.

urgh......stressssss.

Sat, 02 Aug 2008 10:47:16 GMT

so yeah.
i hate paying bills.
this sucks.
ive never been this poor before
i have an appartment
but no bed yet :P
and im starting to get sick of this nest of pillows and comforters that ive been sleeping on for the past week.
any ideas on how to find a free or cheap bed?

my best friend just flew home to new mexico.
i am so tired from staying up and driving to the airport, then going straight to work...
all in the wee hour of 4 am this morning.
i got to work and just fell asleep in the office.

i look like ass right now.
i wanna go home now.
its only like 7am.
i get off at 6pm.

asjdfhalkjsdfsdhafj;l.

good news is that kyle will be flying up here to live with me forever some time after the 18th.
yaay!

all the good karma ive built is finally coming back to me:]

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 09:09:50 GMT

its been a productive week.
mike, john and i have gotten an appartment!
yay!
well, its actually a town house...samedifference.
and we got two BEAUTIFUL kittens!
AND
KYLE MOVES HERE NEXT MONTH!!!
yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!!!!

ahahaha im so happy.

with one exception.
there is a 4th roomate, adam.

holyjesuspotatoes....he is on all of our last nerves and we have only been living together for 2 days!!!!
so far this is my biffs with him:
i have to repete and explain everything i say to him like 6 times before he gets it.
he walks around in his underwear.
he eats MY food. the food that is mine.
HE USED MY TOWEL.

and lastly we never said that he could LIVE with us.

we kindly offered that if he ever needed a place to crash for a night or two that he could sleep on our couch.
not fucking live on it.

but now i feel bad cuz he has taken to cleaning before we get home and has bought things for the house that are nice to have ...like the microwave and the lamps.

idk how to say "thanks for the stuff but your really unbearably annoying and we never said you could fucking live here so please go home"in a nice way.

ugh.
what to do?

suddenly i see.

Sun, 06 Jul 2008 13:42:07 GMT

this is why i got rid of my last livejournal. it was because no one could seem to see where i was comming from.
no matter how long i rant, or how valid my points are, i only get argued with.

being the eternal optimist that i am, i see life in all its glory as much as possible.
i think its great to be alive.
but im not a blind optimist. i am fully aware of the horrors out there. that there are people out there against me and are against you, and they only want to hurt someone.
yeah that sucks but its never going to stop so why would you dwell?

what iif all the shitty things stopped happening?
would the world be a better place???
NO.
the entire balance of life would be thrown off.
its yin and yang.
light and dark.
good and bad.
heaven and hell.

you need balance and contrast or it just cant work.
think about it: if everyone was nice to eachother and there were no more violent acts, we would be overpopulated...waaaaaaaaaaaay worse than we are right now. the fact that no one is dying and more babies are being made would just cause a whole new mess of problems, such as lack of space and resources, which in turn fucks up the enviroment,
in my opinion, the world needs less people.

which takes me to my next argument.
natural selection and survival of the fittest.
idgaf wether you belive in darwin or not. it makes fuckin sense.
the weak die and the strong survive.
just like a sick young deer can get easily left behind and picked off by a couple wolves, someone who cannot handle the stresses of life can fall prey to someone with nothing better to do with their time than to break this person down.
if your weak then you will die, wether you get yourself or someone/something else does.
strong people die too, but they also get to live their lives to the fullest extent, reproduce and leave a mark on the world.
most people dont like to hear this theory because they think that they arent animals.
NEWSFLASH: your an animal. deal with it.
all your needs are primal : to eat, sleep, reproduce, to belong to a group.....the list goes on.
culture is the only thing that separates us. culture is what gives birth to and grants us what we call a concience.
example: you think that killing someone is bad and dishonorable. you wouldnt do it cuz you think its wrong. on the other hand, lets take a look at, say, a tribesman somewhere in the amazon. he brings the head of someone from another tribe back to his village. it is seen as a right of passage and he is an honorable man now.
they dont think its wrong but you do. do they not have a concience? no. its just different morals that are in their society and culture as opposed to your own.
what we all do share are all the animal needs that we have. each and every one of us.

so in a nutshell:
-bad things happen. so do good things. its a balance.
-concience shmoncience...your a fucking animal.
- right and wrong are relative terms and standards. its all based on whatever culture you belong to.

a;kdlfahsd@$&^#kfjhakjghduiahwui@!$!@#$!

my country tis of the, sweet land of...wait, why are we here?

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 17:21:18 GMT

happy "we-dont-belong-to-england-anymore-so-lets-massacre-some-natives-to-get-some-land-cuz-we're-white-jackasses" day.

and this is coming from someone in the arned forces.
sad, i know.
but true.
at least i know what im fighting for.

WHOS GOING TO THE NORVA TONIGHT???

Wed, 02 Jul 2008 17:37:36 GMT

CUTE IS WHAT WE AIM FOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

so yeahhhh...

Mon, 30 Jun 2008 18:11:41 GMT

have managed another day without getting in too much trouble.

YAY!

yesterday became amazing.
i love my friends.

and its payday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
at midnight !

w00t.

this is soooo fucking ridiculous.

Sun, 29 Jun 2008 15:10:09 GMT

this is how retarded and twofaced ppl must be.

so im at work.[dont join the navy kids]
im the last one there for the night [as far as i know.]
i take a snack with me[ rice krispy treat]
just one.

i get called in today on my off day.
and everyone is yelling at me.
all my chiefs.

apparently, someone had broken in, stolen a ton of food, broken something,and left a mess everywhere.
and someone said that they saw me and mike in there last.
so its all getting blamed on us.
we dont know whats gonna happen to us.

goddamn it!!!!!!
>_<

birthday weekend.

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 10:37:29 GMT

long story.
long weekend.
no time to tell now.
gotta get to work.

i miss kyle but what else is new?

*sigh*

better now.

Mon, 09 Jun 2008 09:45:40 GMT

last night was exactly what i needed,
after a HORRIBLE day at work....
i chilled with chris and collin. we went downtown and ate sushiiiiiiiii :D
then we went down by the water and sat on the rocks for hours just talking.
good deep stuff too.
didnt fall asleep like a stupid head :p

ahhhh.
i feel better.

today is gonna be looonnnggg.
urgh.

and i dont want tomorrow to happen.
cuz that means i cant talk to kyle for 3 dayssss.
cell phones dont work in the middle of the oceannnnnn...
:[

sadface

Sun, 08 Jun 2008 09:15:29 GMT

work is just exausting me lately.
so much that i've been ignorin people just so i can go to sleep.
half the time i dont mean to sleep the rest of the day away.
i even set alarms. so i dont do that. yet i sleep thru those.
im sure everyoone is getting annoyed.
like i always call kyle after work immediatly cuz i know if i dont i wont get to talk to him at all. and i tell him that im gonna go to sleep for an houe or two and then i set like 5 loud alarms that i end up sleeping thru.... yet i always wake up for work on time...wtf.
yesterday i was supposed to call kyle back and hang out with my best friend chris, but nooooooo my dumb body stayed asleep.

idk if i have a problem or something but it needs to stop.
its retarded.
and not fair to kyle.
he knows im asleep. but i also know he cant help but wonder if something else is going on.
i would, if i was him.

so yeah.
i hate myself for really dumb reasons right now.

:[

@#$%@%^#%@#$^#$@!!

Sat, 07 Jun 2008 09:50:15 GMT

uuuhhhhggggg!
im watching that stupid xfactor show on mtv where they put two ppl that broke up on vacation together while the ppl they are dating now get to watch.

0_o
its made me realize how much of a jelous person i am.
i mean, im getting jelous for the ppl on tv!!!!
id flip the fuck out if i was on that show.
no matter if i was watching or sitting with my ex.
i can safely say that id be 10 feet away at all times and i am so over all my exes.
i trust kyle but maaannnnn would i be going apeshit.
i dont trust girls just because i know how perfect he is and that ppl want him.

mineeee, fuckers.

woo hoo.

Fri, 06 Jun 2008 18:40:18 GMT

passed my PRT today.
for you non-navy types, that means Physical Readiness test.
pushups situps run.
DONE!
ahaha.
and then yesterday passed my gunshoot.
shot a 190.
which is great for me and good standardwise anyhoo.
:D

i am mucho tired today...despite sleeping a great deal yesterday.i am drained.

bleh.
but on a happier note, kyle comes here in 2 weeks to visit !!!
yayayayayayaaaay.
all around in a good spot lifewise right now.

good weekend :D

Mon, 02 Jun 2008 10:47:07 GMT

so with the exception of missing kyle, this weekend went good.
clubbing...
hookah bar[:D]
downtown....
sushi!
new&&old friends

GREAT SUCCESS!

lmao.
urgh i am tired tho.
stayed up late to talk to him again.
but as the whole world knows,
im crazy 'bout him.
^-^
yesterday was our anniversary.
eep:]

uhhhh.

Thu, 29 May 2008 19:42:41 GMT

im so tired.
all i want to do is sleep.
i think im just gonna escape downtown with my best friend chris and stay there for a weekend.
i get paid at midnight...
so im gonna just, ya know, GO.
*yawns*

i miss kyle a lot.

thats it.

:/

Wed, 28 May 2008 05:46:33 GMT

cant sleep.
so i ironed my work clothes, cleaned my closet up, and then pulled out some paperwork on my car payments.
ah ha! it WAS supposed to come outta my account....
dipshits.
they will have me up their asses till this gets fixed.

i also did some figures...
so i usually get paid around $650 every paycheck [ thats twice a month]
since my carpayment is 2 months over due it'll be like, i dunno, 400something dollars for that.
my phone bill is roughly 160 dollars [eek... i know]
so that leaves me with 80something dollars that is GOING INTO MY SAVINGS ACCOUNT.
i refuse to let my issues get the best of me.
the next paycheck will be: phonebill, house and any left will be savings.

urghhh

oh fuckity fuck fuck.

Wed, 28 May 2008 03:57:32 GMT

i dont have the patience for my life right now.
all i want to do is get kyle up here to live with me.
but everything is getting in the way...
like my job [navy...yay...notsomuch].
my bills.
my car.
distance.
my father.

i'll explain.
so im here. in virginia. its so lame here its not even funny. i couldnt make normal friends in this state if my life depended on it.
im so sick of navy people....they just dont get me or like what i like. i wish i could just move all my florida friends up here so id feel normal again.
anyhoo...
so im about to get an appartment with the only two navy ppl that i can handle. trust me, i dont even look at them as if they are in the navy, all they are are my friends.
the plan is to get a little place. 2 bedrooms, nothing special.cheap.
me,chris,sierra, and then kyle.
we all get paid on friday... which ment that this weekend was house hunting time!
and hopefully we can walk away with a place, or at least a good idea about our options.
im already money stressed, with my gigantic phone bill to pay and what not, but at this point in the story im still not too worried about possibly putting forth money for a house.
then,
my wonderful father decides to pop in via telephone call.
if i knew it was him i wouldve never picked it up.
he starts biching about how all my bills got sent to his house and he "knows what im up to"
the ass thinks that im expecting him to pay for my shit!!!! that, i assure you reader, is not the case.
i take pride in doing shit myself and i dont expect anyone to do stuff for me, ESPECIALLY my dad.
so, due to a fuck up somewhere at either the car place or the bank, my fucktard father comes barging into my buisness. fucking fantastic.
so now that the shit has been going to his house, instead of comming out of my account LIKE ITS SUPPOSED TO, my car payment is 2 months overdue.
and so is my phone bill.

ajkhfjkhe98ru894rioq3$#!#$%^%!@lkjhasjd
*head desk head desk head desk*

.....urgh.

all i want is kyle, here, now.
he [and his family] are the best support i have right now.
they are truly a blessing.
his dad said he'd walk with me in my dads spot when me and kyle get married :]

the list of ppl not invited to that little shindigg is short
my father and step mom.

simplepimple.

all i have to do is get paid.
pay phone bill.
yell at bank and car place.
new drivers licence.
get car.
get house.
get kyle.
start school again

and then im set!!!

...busy busy.
[: P]

so im in the middle of reading twilight....

Mon, 26 May 2008 02:55:12 GMT

and i realized that edward cullen and my boyfriend are pretty much the same.
only edward has red hair and kyle has black hair.
right now i have the red hair.

ahaha go meeee!!!!

yayayayayayaaaay.

my boyfriend makes me drool....amongst other things.
;D

ive only been gone for two days and i miss him so bad that it HURTS.

it was all i expected and so much more:D

Sun, 25 May 2008 12:44:34 GMT

this past week has truly been the best week everrrrrrrrrr :D
kyle is the best thing that ever happened to me.
and thats a fact.
i am beyond in LOVE:]

^^
*SIGHS*

i could blah blah blah about it forever but i really do have to get back to work.
all i know is im going back home to get him in 3 weeks when he can live with me.

yayayayayayayayayayayayayayaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.

omgggg

Tue, 13 May 2008 00:25:35 GMT

its too close to even count .

but yes home on friday and being with kyle is all i can think of.